Chapter 1: The Burden of Unfinished Endeavors

My life is filled with incomplete tasks: a neglected tomato garden, three barely-there websites, drafts of a TV pilot, two unpublished novels, and a half-finished music album that I've never shared with anyone. Even folding laundry has become an unfinished chore. It’s comical, really.

Depending on my mood, I often find myself attributing this to various factors. Typically, I point fingers at my children, highlighting the genuine obstacles they create that prevent me from focusing on any task for long.

However, I've recently taken a closer look at these unfulfilled ambitions—perhaps as part of a midlife reflection. My goal is to comprehend these patterns better and to stop repeating the same errors. After conducting some research and engaging in a fair bit of introspection, I've discovered a more accurate reason for my many unfinished projects.

The issue isn’t my kids. It isn’t even laziness. I don’t require an intricate new self-care routine or clever productivity hacks. No amount of motivational speeches can change this.

The real issue lies in the projects themselves: I am selecting them poorly.

Take my incomplete TV pilot as a case in point. It revolves around a reformed supervillain in her forties, raising an autistic daughter alone. I was inspired to write it because I wanted this show to come to life. I was eager to see a powerful woman navigate the complexities of ordinary life, facing the challenges of raising a difficult child and getting involved in community activities like bake sales. I wished to delve into what it means to suppress one’s power in such a way.

But I was more interested in watching that show than actually writing it—at least not at this moment—which explains why it's still unfinished. When I envisioned the joy of working on this project, I was merely fantasizing about completing it. I was picturing the exhilaration of being on set during filming.

Recent studies suggest that these “positive fantasies” about the end result are often why many people fail to finish their projects. Contrary to the ideas presented in motivational literature like The Secret, this kind of visualization can actually diminish motivation and hinder progress when faced with inevitable obstacles.

I found this to resonate with my experience. Once I began to seriously work on my pilot, the lengthy road to realizing that fantasy became painfully clear. It would require months of writing during my scarce free time, followed by the potentially fruitless quest for representation. If I succeeded, I could spend months or even years in a frustrating development process. Even if it were made into a pilot, it might not get picked up, or I might find myself compromising with producers who fail to understand my vision.

Ultimately, the effort started to feel unwarranted. It seemed unlikely to match the illusion I had created.

This realization applies to all of my incomplete projects, whether they stemmed from fantasies about a life of effortless income or just the joy of homegrown tomatoes. Understanding this has been enlightening for me.

While I haven’t suddenly started completing creative projects left and right—thanks to my kids’ demands—I have stopped initiating projects I had no intention of finishing. I’m no longer accumulating failures, which is a positive shift for my mental well-being.

To avoid embarking on doomed ventures, I now apply a straightforward test. Instead of envisioning the end result, I consider all the smaller decisions I’ll have to make along the way. Would I need to sacrifice paid time off for writing days? Would I miss out on weekend brunches with my children? Would I be willing to work late at night while they sleep? Am I truly ready to make those sacrifices? Would I find the process enjoyable?

Now, I often realize that the work would demand more sacrifice than I am prepared or able to give for the potential outcome. The daily grind simply wouldn’t be fulfilling, and that’s perfectly fine.

Abandoning these doomed endeavors has freed up space for projects that I genuinely enjoy, like crafting this essay. (Here’s a little secret: writing on Medium is where I can actually finish things. The process only takes a few hours, and there’s no pressure to publish frequently, allowing me to write when I feel inspired. It doesn’t feel burdensome, and I get that gratifying rush from reads and comments whenever I complete something. It’s ideal.)

Will I ever write that TV show or cultivate a flourishing tomato garden? Perhaps. But I’ll pursue those goals when I’m ready—when the tasks of editing dialogue and weeding seem engaging and fulfilling, rather than when I'm simply chasing a fantasy.

Until then, I suspect you’ll continue to find me here.

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Chapter 2: Strategies for Completion

This insightful video discusses how to tackle a multitude of unfinished projects and offers practical strategies for completion.

In this video, discover three effective hacks that can help you bring your unfinished projects to fruition.