Why Do We Worry?

Often, we find ourselves anxious about potential outcomes rather than focusing on our current circumstances. Many believe that worrying excessively will somehow avert negative experiences. However, this is a misconception; no amount of worry can prevent unfortunate events from occurring. Instead, it merely heightens our anxiety and stress levels.

Another reason for our tendency to worry is the desire to control situations beyond our grasp. Some think that if they worry enough, they can influence the future to align with their desires. Unfortunately, the future is inherently uncertain, and worry won't change that.

From my observations, those who are particularly controlling often find themselves worrying more. If you can't foresee what lies ahead, it may seem logical to run through every possible scenario in your mind and prepare for each one. Yet, in my own experiences, the outcomes often differ from what I've anticipated. Worrying can never grant you the control you're seeking.

Additionally, you might feel an obligation to safeguard your loved ones. But why is that burden solely yours? Is it because you are a parent, spouse, or friend? Worrying won't shield them from life's lessons, even if those lessons are painful.

You might argue that while you accept the need for them to learn, you want to protect them from harm and loss. It's a common fear that those we cherish might suffer or even face death. However, the truth is that everyone will eventually pass away. No amount of worry, planning, or attempting to exert control can alter this reality.

A guiding principle to remember is the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.”

Another valuable saying is:

“Let go and Let God.”

Whether or not you hold religious beliefs, this advice encourages you to surrender and relinquish control over what you cannot change. In essence, stop trying to solve everything on your own and trust that life will unfold as it should.

Practical Steps to Alleviate Worry

So, how can you begin to curb your worrying tendencies? Here are four actionable suggestions:

1. Stay Present: Whenever you catch yourself worrying about the future or fixating on the past, take a moment to breathe deeply and redirect your focus to the present. We rarely worry about the current moment, as we are experiencing it. Accept it as it is, without judgment.
2. Challenge Your Concerns: When worry arises, ask yourself if there's anything you can do to address it. If there is, take action. If not, let go and move on.
3. Embrace Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness involves being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and environment in the present. By observing your worries without becoming entangled in them, you can cultivate a more peaceful state of mind. Techniques like meditation or simply focusing on your breath can enhance mindfulness.
4. Seek Support: Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can alleviate feelings of overwhelm. They can provide valuable insights and strategies for managing anxiety.

Breaking the habit of worrying can be challenging, but it is worthwhile. By concentrating on the present, confronting your worries, and embracing mindfulness, you can learn to release unnecessary anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.