Chapter 1: The Breakthrough in Orca Communication

In a remarkable scientific advancement, researchers from Iceland have successfully employed artificial intelligence to interpret a dialect spoken by killer whales. This newly identified language, referred to as “Orcan,” features a combination of clicks, whistles, and hums, enabling orcas to share information even when they are out of sight from one another.

“This achievement in AI is truly impressive,” commented project leader Sigurður Borgfjord. “It’s particularly relevant given the recent incidents of orca pods attacking boats near Spain. The orcas in that region seem to communicate in a different dialect, but I'm confident that our AI algorithms will soon uncover the reasons behind their unusual behavior.”

As the research progressed, one of the most surprising discoveries was how orcas view humans.

“It seems that orcas have developed a variety of terms to label and characterize humans,” Borgfjord stated. “Interestingly, our findings indicate that there are more synonyms for ‘human’ than for any other noun in Orcan, with both favorable and unfavorable implications. However, preliminary data suggest that most of these terms lean towards the negative.”

Here are some translated Orcan terms for humans:

• “Riptide quitters”
• “Current bobbers”
• “Debbie drowners”
• “Respiratory toddlers”
• “Fun-sized shark snacks”
• “External testiculars”
• “Squares who don’t get high off of pufferfish”
• “Echo-less rejects”
• “Plastic-pooping monkeys”
• “Planet-soilers”
• “Blubber-less anorexics”
• “Need-bait-and-sticks-to-catch-fish”
• “Emaciated flippers”
• “Mangled fin monstrosities with 5 flapping appendages utterly useless in the water”
• “Rostrum-less savages with tiny melons”
• “Dorsal dummies”
• “Swimmers of the very shallows”
• “Sunburning evolutionary failures whose skin doesn’t shed every two hours”
• “Wave weaklings”
• “Barely-ever-clean-themselves-in-water slobs”
• “Food chewers who don’t have big enough throats to swallow fish whole”
• “Both-eyes-closed-sleepers”
• “Te