Chapter 1: The Challenge of Distance and Control

As a 33-year-old married woman living 17,000 km away from my mother, her daily communication feels more like an overbearing presence than a loving connection. Despite the physical distance, I often find myself feeling controlled, and I’m utterly exhausted by it.

When I express my frustration, it’s often met with accusations of being ungrateful. People remind me that many would cherish daily check-ins from their mothers, often invoking guilt: "You know she won’t be around forever, right? You’ll regret not talking to her when she’s gone." This is a classic example of guilt-tripping, a tactic many controlling parents use to maintain their influence over their children.

Guilt-tripping can be a form of emotional manipulation, leveraging the fear of loss to ensure compliance.

Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

It’s crucial to resist this pressure and assert one’s independence. My life is mine, and I have the right to live it on my terms. Establishing boundaries is challenging, but I’ve found a practical solution: I can temporarily block my mother on WhatsApp, communicating only when I feel ready.

My mother struggles to accept "no" for an answer, demonstrating a lack of respect for my boundaries. However, I’m learning that I don’t have to bear the burden of her happiness. My priority is to cultivate my own joy and make decisions that resonate with me.

While I don’t wish to sever ties completely, my relocation to another continent suggests a desire to escape something. I’m learning to take care of myself by managing how and when I communicate with her. I can send a simple message, “I’ll talk to you on Monday, goodbye, Mom,” or take time to process my feelings, seeking healthy outlets for my emotions—writing being my preferred method.

When I write, I experience healing; through that healing, I find my breath again.

I wonder how common these experiences are in places like the US, Australia, Europe, or Canada. What are parenting styles like in those regions? I’m eager to learn about your experiences!

Please, share your stories with me! Just kidding—if you enjoyed this reflection, consider subscribing for my daily updates. Thank you! :D

Chapter 2: The Power of Self-Care

Your Native friend is a writer and artist who enjoys coffee with milk and a touch of brown sugar—always brown, never white. For the past five years, she has traveled across four countries and showcased her art in various locations, including Indonesia, Mexico, Italy, Argentina, Spain, Chile, and Peru.