Understanding Your Motivations

When faced with a significant decision in life, there's one crucial question that can guide you toward understanding your true motivations. This straightforward inquiry can lead you to the core of your reasoning. Whenever you find yourself stuck or resistant to exploring other possibilities, pose the question:

And then what?

I've often reflected on this question while watching films featuring villains intent on world domination. I can't help but think, "Congratulations, you won—now what?"

These antagonists rarely articulate their plans after achieving their goals. As the audience, we understand their desires, but often the rationale behind them is unclear. Sure, there may be motivations rooted in revenge or a hunger for power—like the Joker in "The Dark Knight," who simply wishes to watch the world descend into chaos. Yet, there’s seldom a clear picture of what life will look like post-conquest.

As I watch these narratives unfold, I find myself wondering about the aftermath. If you eliminate all opposition and reign supreme, what comes next? Will you just lounge on your throne, munching on grapes? Who will serve them to you? Is there a risk of boredom that leads to the demise of your loyal followers? Ultimately, what's the point of ruling over a desolate world? Even if you retain a few subservient souls, how will you occupy your time? Will you just wander through your fortress, feeling aimless? This fixation on power raises an important question: and then what?

By continually asking this of fictional villains, I've realized it can also apply to my own life choices. When I become overly attached to a desired outcome, I remind myself to ask: And then what?

Typically, the responses lead back to a longing for contentment or joy. The belief often is that happiness is contingent upon achieving a specific goal, leading to an obsession with the end result while neglecting the journey.

For instance, consider my experiences with dating. After meeting someone online and engaging in conversation, a sudden lack of communication can evoke disappointment. I question why I feel this way.

I want her to reach out. And then what? We can continue our conversation, which would be enjoyable. And then what? I’ll feel better as we get to know one another. And then what? Perhaps we could enter into a relationship. And then what? We could build a life together. And then what? Ultimately, I’d find… happiness?

Aha! We’re uncovering something significant here! It appears that my emotional responses and actions are ultimately in pursuit of future happiness.

However, this focus on a future state often distracts from the potential joy available in the present. Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with misdirected attention and energy. Like many, I know I should heed the wisdom of those who advocate for living in the now, yet I often find it challenging.

Instead of concentrating on the task at hand—like writing this article—I frequently catch myself planning what comes next. My thoughts race ahead to my day after this moment.

This tendency to project into the future complicates my focus and leads to unnecessary stress, producing a cycle of anticipation that diverts my attention away from the quality of my work.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or unfocused, consider trying this mental exercise:

I need to finish writing. Okay, and then what? I can go for a jog later. That’s five hours away; I have plenty of time. But okay, and then what? I’ll return home to prepare dinner and relax. And then what? I’ll likely feel tired, so I might watch a movie and head to bed. And then what? I’ll wake up tomorrow, I suppose. And then what? What will I do in the morning that I’m rushing toward right now? I’ll… write again? Ah, so I’m hurrying through my writing just to cycle back to this moment tomorrow?

This kind of mental gymnastics can become tiring.

In the end, we must recognize that our motivations and attitudes toward our actions may not be as straightforward as they appear. It’s easy to project our desires into a hypothetical future and overlook the importance of grounding ourselves in the present—the only moment we have true control over.

You don’t need to seize control of the universe or await a message to feel deserving of joy.

You don’t require that imagined future life to experience fulfillment and contentment right now.

When anxiety, stress, or bitterness arise, picture the shifts necessary for a more positive mindset. Envision everything falling into place perfectly. Imagine attaining all your dreams and how that would feel.

As you bask in the fantasy of being the master of your life, ask yourself, And then what?

The first video, "Four Questions To Ask When Making A Decision," delves into critical self-inquiry that can enhance your decision-making process.

The second video, "7 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Don't Know What You Want," offers valuable insights to clarify your desires and aspirations.

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