Chapter 1: The Struggles of Adulthood

In many aspects, I find myself grappling with immaturity even as I navigate my forties and manage a household with four children, one of whom is nearing college age. Acknowledging my faults and shortcomings does not erase them, but it is certainly beneficial to recognize them!

I often text while driving, having repeatedly let down both my wife and mother regarding this promise. My living spaces quickly descend into chaos; it seems that within mere hours, my car, desk, bed, and kitchen resemble a pigsty. Punctuality is another challenge for me. My kids have come to expect delays, often calling to ask, "Where are you?" My response is typically "Five minutes," but on one occasion, my son timed it—what I said was actually fifteen minutes. This isn't due to a packed schedule; I tend to leave at the last possible moment, often misplacing my wallet or keys.

My impatience surfaces in both personal and professional contexts. Rather than allowing others adequate time to respond, I find myself pursuing them unnecessarily. I often rush through my replies to emails, sending off hasty messages from my phone, which lack the thoughtfulness they deserve.

Road rage is another issue I face, not limited to my time behind the wheel. I become irritable when encountering slow individuals in grocery stores or when others hinder my workout routines on the track. Procrastination is a frequent visitor in my life, particularly when it comes to household tasks.

I recognize that I often fail to keep my commitments, which is a flaw I am aware of. My attire can be overly casual, a habit formed by years of remote work and the laid-back California lifestyle—I frequently find myself in running shorts throughout the day. Moreover, I struggle with being fully present, often multitasking during work calls or family dinners instead of focusing on one task at a time.

Reflecting on this list highlights the chaos within me. Perhaps a self-improvement coach would be beneficial to guide me continuously!

Just yesterday, I relocated and am now living with my son while he finishes high school in California—his messiness far surpasses mine. Take a look at his room on our first morning in the new place:

Yet, amidst the disorder, we manage to keep our running shoes organized!

Chapter 2: Embracing Change