The Moment I Hit Rock Bottom

A harrowing blend of benzodiazepines and alcohol pushed me to my limits.

This time, I didn’t merely stop drinking; I began to truly live. Here are some lessons I’ve gathered over the last two months of sobriety.

Idle Hands Can Lead to Trouble

During active addiction, I found myself with no free time. At my lowest, my main activities were lying in bed, forcing apple cider down my throat to avoid vomiting, and watching TV. It’s painful to reflect on that period, but I felt trapped and unable to see a way out as I awaited rehab.

Now, in sobriety, I have an abundance of time. Initially, it was almost torturous as I watched the seconds tick by, waiting for bedtime. Thankfully, that has changed. I learned that quitting drinking isn’t enough; I needed to fill the void left by addiction with healthier pursuits. Writing has become my refuge, consuming my focus and making time fly. I’ve embraced various hobbies and freelance projects alongside writing, and my days are now filled with activities that bring me joy.

This contrasts sharply with my previous attempts at sobriety when I thought simply avoiding alcohol was sufficient. After work, I would return home, smoke weed, and watch TV, believing that was a life without alcohol. If you’re newly sober, view this as an opportunity to explore and discover your interests. Engage in every enjoyable activity that doesn’t involve drugs or alcohol; you may uncover hidden talents and new passions that enrich your life.

Life Is Not as Daunting as It Once Seemed

For those in recovery, the initial phase can be overwhelming, as you confront emotions you once numbed with substances. The fear and anxiety can feel insurmountable, compounded by the impact of altered brain chemistry.

I believe this is why many individuals experience relapses early in their sobriety—it’s simply too painful. Now that I’m past the hardest initial months, life feels less intimidating. The paranoid thoughts I had, like believing everyone despised me or that I would face unjust accusations, have subsided. These fears were mere manifestations of anxiety.

Once I moved beyond that tumult, I began to see life as a gift rather than a source of fear. I focus on having fun, engaging in meaningful work, and helping others along the way. I find joy in my journey.

Realizing My True Potential

For years, I functioned at a mere fraction of my ability. I wasn’t truly living; I was just existing. Now, I find myself thriving beyond what I thought was possible. I can’t quantify my progress because I’ve never experienced happiness and sobriety simultaneously as an adult before. The possibilities feel endless.

I used to think I was lazy, but now I realize I was simply in pain. I now wake up at 4 AM to enjoy the tranquility of the morning, accomplishing everything I need to before the city stirs. I’m getting fit, honing my writing skills, improving at golf, and much more. I’m eager to see what else I can achieve.

At nine weeks sober, I’m wrapping up this article at 4:52 AM with my adorable puppy by my side, feeling happier than ever. Although I still encounter challenging days, I recognize that both the good and the bad pass more swiftly than they once did.

If you find yourself where I was two months ago or are struggling with life, remember: everything changes. Difficult times will eventually subside, and you can reach a place of contentment like I have.

Thank you for reading!

Celebrate My Journey — If you enjoyed this article, please show your support with claps to boost my motivation.

Support My Work — If you’d like to help me continue this journey, consider buying me a coffee.