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Empowering Women Through Divorce: Insights from exEXPERTS

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Chapter 1: The Birth of exEXPERTS

When it comes to divorce, T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum are not ones to shy away. Their friendship spans over two decades, and they faced the challenges of their respective divorces simultaneously in 2008, bonding over shared experiences of betrayal when their husbands cheated on them simultaneously. Instead of succumbing to despair, they leveraged their backgrounds in Marketing and Television Production to create exEXPERTS—a platform providing a wealth of resources and discussions about divorce.

Ilyssa Panitz: What inspired the creation of exEXPERTS?

T.H. Irwin: The idea for exEXPERTS had been brewing for nearly 14 years. When both of us faced our divorces, we leaned on each other heavily, grateful for the unconditional support. It sparked a desire to extend that support to other women in similar situations.

Jessica Klingbaum: It took time to shape our vision, but our personal experiences drove us to help others.

Ilyssa Panitz: Why choose the name exEXPERTS?

Jessica Klingbaum: We aimed for a name that would resonate and be easily understood while adding a touch of fun. Our goal at exEXPERTS is to help people find joy amid their struggles, and the name encapsulates that spirit. We've also learned that names with hard consonant sounds tend to stick in people's minds.

T.H. Irwin: Our focus is on delivering accurate advice from trusted experts—both industry professionals and those who have lived through divorce. Hearing personal experiences is crucial for individuals navigating their own journeys.

Ilyssa Panitz: What have you learned about divorce through this venture?

Jessica Klingbaum: We continuously learn from industry experts who provide insight into current divorce trends, legal changes, and personal growth.

T.H. Irwin: Connecting with those who have thrived post-divorce has been uplifting, affirming the value of our work.

Section 1.1: Navigating Divorce Categories

Ilyssa Panitz: Can you describe the different sections on your website?

myDIVORCE:

T.H. Irwin: The myDIVORCE section offers essential information for anyone beginning their divorce process, including guidance on selecting a lawyer and understanding various divorce methods—litigation, mediation, or collaborative divorce. We also highlight the role of Divorce Coaches who can assist even before legal representation.

myFAMILY:

Jessica Klingbaum: The myFAMILY section addresses custody issues and the emotional well-being of children and pets during divorce. We provide strategies for discussing divorce with kids, managing high-conflict custody situations, and navigating co-parenting discussions. We even address tough questions like pet custody.

myWALLET:

T.H. Irwin: The myWALLET section covers finances, debt management, and settlement negotiations—crucial topics for anyone going through a divorce. We help individuals understand the financial implications of their divorce and guide them in budgeting and credit score management.

mySTUFF:

Jessica Klingbaum: The mySTUFF section is about asset division—deciding who gets what. We discuss the emotional attachment to possessions and provide guidance on making decisions about items ranging from homes to sentimental belongings like wedding dresses.

mySELF:

T.H. Irwin: The mySELF section focuses on self-care, especially for women who often prioritize others over themselves. It’s essential to acknowledge and process emotions during this tumultuous time. We encourage women to engage in self-care routines, whether it's enjoying a hot bath or pursuing hobbies.

Jessica Klingbaum: A key part of mySELF is our "What I Wish I Knew" segment, where real-life experts share their insights to help others in similar situations.

Section 1.2: Lessons Learned from Divorce

Ilyssa Panitz: What was the most surprising aspect of your divorce journey?

Jessica Klingbaum: I realized that divorce doesn’t mirror movie portrayals, especially regarding financial matters. The reality of alimony and fault in divorce was a harsh awakening.

T.H. Irwin: For me, the relief of moving on was overshadowed by the frustration of my ex-husband’s behavior during the process.

Ilyssa Panitz: How have you both influenced each other since founding exEXPERTS?

Jessica Klingbaum: T.H. has taught me the importance of self-advocacy and trusting my instincts.

T.H. Irwin: Jessica has reminded me to be a good listener, which is crucial during tough times.

Chapter 2: Misconceptions and Opportunities

Ilyssa Panitz: What are some common misconceptions about single parenting?

T.H. Irwin: Many assume single parents have it all under control, but that’s often not the case. When I asked for help, I found support, but it wasn’t usually offered.

Jessica Klingbaum: People often think single parents know what they’re doing. In reality, I struggled to balance my demanding career with parenting.

Ilyssa Panitz: Why can divorce be seen as an opportunity for growth?

Jessica Klingbaum: Divorce forces you to confront realities you may have avoided, enabling personal growth and self-discovery.

T.H. Irwin: Recognizing what brings you joy can also foster practicality and open-mindedness.

Ilyssa Panitz: What advice would you offer someone experiencing divorce?

T.H. Irwin: Find a great therapist who resonates with you, and build a supportive network of positive people.

Jessica Klingbaum: Always strive to take the high road, as it will benefit you in the long run.

Ilyssa Panitz: What mistakes should individuals avoid during a divorce?

Jessica Klingbaum: Mixing emotions with the business aspects of divorce can be costly.

T.H. Irwin: Seek advice from those who have experienced divorce instead of toxic sources.

Jessica Klingbaum: Avoid speaking negatively about your ex; it only reflects poorly on you.

T.H. Irwin: Don’t waste resources on trivial disputes that won’t contribute to your ultimate goals.

Jessica Klingbaum: Planning for your children’s future beyond 18 is crucial, as they may need ongoing support.

Chapter 3: The Divorce Podcast

Ilyssa Panitz: How does your podcast differ from your website?

T.H. Irwin: Our podcast captures our dynamic and candid discussions, including questions people often overlook. We share our experiences and those of others, creating a relatable atmosphere for listeners.

Jessica Klingbaum: We're dedicated to reducing the stigma surrounding divorce by openly sharing our journeys.

Ilyssa Panitz: Is it true that life improves after divorce?

T.H. Irwin: Absolutely! I rediscovered myself post-divorce and realized that prioritizing my well-being positively impacts my children.

Jessica Klingbaum: Yes! Acknowledging your right to happiness is vital. Two happy individuals can create a healthier environment than staying in an unhappy marriage.

For more insights, catch T.H. and Jessica on "The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz" on January 15th at 1 PM (EST)/10 AM (PST) on CRN Digital Talk Radio.

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