Chapter 1: A Transformative Journey

Recently, I've shared my profound transformation that began when I decided to express my struggles to the universe and surrender them to a higher power. This release has had a ripple effect throughout my life, including my family dynamics. When you start to change, those around you begin to feel that shift too. I’m witnessing positive changes at home, and I must say, it brings me immense joy.

After a family cleaning session, I took a brief five-minute escape in the shower, gearing up for the grandparents' visit the next day. As I stood there, I found myself joyfully swaying to the music, feeling grateful for the moment. I even opened the bathroom window to let in some cool air, countering the sweltering heat inside.

Note to Future Self: Master your own thermostat! With -10°C outside and needing an open window and fan to sleep, it's quite absurd. Despite the cold, the indoors remain at a sticky 25°C with only 15% humidity—something’s got to change.

It's incredible how life improves when you’re not overwhelmed by heat; I can even tolerate hearing Katy Perry for the umpteenth time.

I never wanted to be the perpetually exhausted and serious mom. I knew something had to shift, and I'm relieved it finally has. We engage in games, conversations, walks, tickling, cooking, and baking together. Yet, I often felt it was inadequate, a realization I now attribute to my past traumas.

My own mother wasn’t the playful type; her idea of parenting included loud parties while my sister and I attempted to sleep upstairs. I often discovered photos from those wild nights, and it’s shocking to recall the chaos that unfolded just below us. To this day, the sound of Nazareth triggers negative memories for me.

It’s a challenge not to measure myself against her. I was overly concerned with not repeating her mistakes, and our parenting approaches couldn’t be more dissimilar. I need to stop scrutinizing my own parenting simply because I want to avoid living like she did.

My mother was disengaged from my education—no parent-teacher meetings, school trips, or encouragement for reading. The only books available were V.C. Andrews, which I read long before I should have. Now, I ensure my daughter has access to age-appropriate literature that she loves. We read together, share experiences, and she enjoys a fulfilling childhood with friends and outdoor play.

I actively connect with her education, teaching her and communicating with her teachers when necessary. While I feel like I’m fulfilling my parental duties, I often grapple with insecurities, feeling as though it’s never quite enough.

I realize I must show myself some grace. I am not my mother; my feelings of inadequacy stem from trauma. My child is happy, safe, and well-loved. Although she may not have everything I wish to provide, she has much to be grateful for, as do I. She is kind, resilient, and intelligent—a true blessing.

When challenges arise, we lean into joy. We dance until we can no longer move, play games, bake, and spend quality time together. We embrace these moments until the weight lifts, only to rise and do it all again.

I will continue to share insights with her, embedding little lessons that I hope will become second nature. I aim to teach her that we always do our best with what we have. We offer ourselves grace and trust that life will unfold as it should, as long as we consistently show up and strive to be our best selves.

Though I may not have all the answers and will inevitably make mistakes, I am not my mother. I am so much more than that.

I now grasp the essence of my journey—our biological parents may have brought us into this world, but our true nurturing comes from a higher power. I am who I was meant to be. I have confronted my inner demons.

I am a daughter.

I am a mother.

I am a fighter.

I am seen, I am heard, and I am loved.

Chapter 2: Embracing Joy Amidst Challenges

The first video titled Helping Resource Parents and Caregivers Embrace Trauma-Responsive Parenting Strategies provides insights on how caregivers can adapt their approaches to support children affected by trauma.

The second video, ACEs & Parenting Through Modern Trauma, delves into the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on parenting practices and how to navigate these challenges effectively.