Books to Help My Younger Self Overcome Loneliness
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Chapter 1: A Journey Through Loneliness
All the lonely individuals, where do they come from? Where do they truly belong?
Photo by Aa Dil from Pexels
At the age of 10, I found myself without any friends. Unlike those who complain while actually having acquaintances busy with life, I truly had no one. During lunch, I was isolated, and I spent my time aimlessly wandering the school halls. While my classmates enjoyed outings to the mall, I went straight home after school, sometimes going days without speaking to anyone. To cope, I learned to numb my feelings.
Before blowing out the candles on my birthday cake that year, I wished for just one genuine friend. I yearned to be acknowledged and sought the elusive quality that seemed to allow others to connect effortlessly. Unfortunately, I never stumbled upon it.
What I did discover, however, were books. My parents made it a point to take me to the library each weekend, which quickly became the highlight of my week. I eagerly explored the shelves, searching for a book that could either help me lose myself or truly find myself. I devoured nearly seven fiction titles weekly; they became my escape.
During one of my bookstore visits, I encountered a book named "How Life Works." Intrigued by the idea of having a manual for life, I decided to purchase it. While the book isn't groundbreaking, discussing themes like positive thinking and the law of attraction, it did spark the beginning of my self-improvement journey.
The right book at the right moment can indeed alter one's life. I began to delve into more non-fiction works, applying the lessons learned to enhance my productivity, mindset, and health. I no longer felt trapped by loneliness; I discovered ways to regain control over my life.
Since then, I've found additional books that would have greatly benefited my younger self. If I could travel back in time, I would gift these titles to my younger version.
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
Image from Goodreads
This book features Ove, the grumpy neighbor everyone dreads—a cantankerous old man living in solitude. His life takes a turn when a new family moves in next door.
I recommend approaching this story without any spoilers, as it beautifully illustrates the significance of human connections that transcend age and background, infused with humor that makes it an enjoyable weekend read.
"People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was color. All the color he had." — Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove
To my younger self: connection can often be found in the smallest moments. Those seemingly trivial instances can make life incredibly meaningful.
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Image from Goodreads
Eleanor leads a highly structured life, avoiding unnecessary social interactions. However, her life begins to shift when Raymond, the IT guy from her office, enters the picture.
This relatable and humorous narrative explores vulnerability and the importance of allowing others into our lives to cultivate love.
"When the silence and the aloneness press down and around me, crushing me, carving through me like ice, I need to speak aloud sometimes, if only for proof of life." — Gail Honeyman, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
To my younger self: it's never too late to transform your life. What’s preventing you from forming the relationships you crave? Take small steps to overcome those barriers.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Image from Goodreads
This compelling memoir offers insights into therapy through the narratives of six individuals, including the author, who is a psychotherapist.
The exploration of therapy from various angles was enlightening. Open discussions about mental health help to reduce stigma and encourage more people to seek help.
"We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same." — Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
To my younger self: consider therapy sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until patterns of behavior become ingrained. The sooner you acknowledge the issues and view therapy as a viable option, the sooner you can initiate change.
Understanding Loneliness
Loneliness is a deeply personal experience. If you perceive yourself as lonely, then you are. You can feel isolated even in the company of friends, or when your life appears perfect on the surface. Conversely, solitude doesn't always equate to loneliness; one can enjoy solitude while feeling connected and at peace.
"Loneliness is like drowning while others are breathing." — Life’s Struggles (from YouTube)
To all those experiencing loneliness: remember, you matter. You belong. It may not feel that way at the moment, but you will eventually find someone who understands, sees, and loves you. The best part is, you’ll also get to love them back, and it will be infinitely more meaningful because you won’t take it for granted.
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